Di Ako Choosy!!!

Is to have a crush with men of various sizes, shapes and colors an abnormality?

Is it unusual not to have a common feature or trait among the men you find attractive?

A close friend’s observation of my diverse list of crushes (interpretation: most of them are not good looking) got me to thinking, is something wrong with my emotional make-up, at least in reference to men?

While most of my friends look for a particular feature in men like being chinito, mestizo, long hair, bald, tall, handsome, I don’t!!!

I am not very particular with physical attributes, not that I have the right to be “choosy”, I just don’t have physical preference.

He can be abnormally tall, unfortunately short, extraordinarily thin, excessively fat or simply chubby and still end up as the apple of my 125-150 vision-eyes.

He may have large eyes, his ears and his two front teeth may give Bugs a run for his money, his hair can be curly, straight or loosing, his color may be fair, dark, darker and darkest and still be truly attractive for me.

While I am sure that falling in-crush with an assortment of guys doesn't make me a flirt, in the deep recesses of my chaotic mind I do wonder if somehow my confusion when it comes to what I really like in a guy can be classified as some sort of anomaly in the world of psychology?

To better understand the diversity of my choices I have actually considered drawing a chart with the photos of the men that I used to like and currently like with their traits as caption, the very reason they ended up in my list – unfortunately for them.

As much as I would like to share this illustration, drawing it would be too much of an effort and would need time which I sadly don’t have enough of plus i don't have a picture of all of them, needless to say let’s just keep this chart imaginary and protect the poor guys from exposure and myself from further shame.

Anyway, just by running the long list of my crushes in my mind I believe I have somehow answered my question.

Besides, I prefer that some of them remain a secret.

Allow me instead to enumerate the silly and sane reasons why this Venusfalls in crush and eventually falls in love with Mars.

The smart looking guy in the terminal who seem to have all the colors of the short sleeves barong whom I keep seeing every morning, the ragged looking chap in his tattered jeans and sneakers who’s always in the same bus as I am every night or the four-eyed geek in the elevator - seeing all these characters regularly is reason enough for poor me to fall in-crush with them regardless if they're good looking or not, especially when you know that
they also recognize you.

An acquaintance who acknowledges your existence by saying hi, nodding or waving can another pogi point for me.

Or it could be a random stranger who accidentally smiled at me or simply asked for a direction and remembered to say thanks, a gentleman who offers his seat to a generic looking girl like me, a caller with a kind or sexy or handsome voice – as shallow as these may all seem, these can actually trigger whatever it is in my brain to decide that.....hey, i like you!

Di ako choosy and I fall-in-crush so easily!

After a thousand crushes and still counting, I now know why!

Because I tend to see and appreciate what others don't notice like a smile, a thank you, a look of recognition, an act of chivalry and a sense of confidence with the way they carry themselves, these to me are too much to be ignored.

I am more attracted to what a guy exudes from within rather that what he have physically.

It's not that I don't have good looking crushes, I do, but then their looks says it all, no need to justify why birds suddenly appear every time they are near.........

STATUS:Single

A friend once asked me if being single at my age is not an issue for me.

My initial answer was a hearty laugh, which I thought was the best way to answer him. But when he asked me for the second time I knew that it was not because he didn't understand what my laughter meant, he was simply not convinced!

What triggered the question was my friend’s predicament: he’s 31 and he’s single.

His dilemma is not as simple as that. His was not a case of the NGFSB (no girlfriend since birth) syndrome. He was single because of a break up.

But this is not about my friend and I am no psychologist so I will not try to explain and analyze him.

This is about the very much single, me!

Yes, I am happy being single at age 35 but that doesn’t mean that I want to be single for the rest of my life.

No, I am not consciously looking for a romantic relationship but that doesn’t mean that I’m not interested.

In all honesty, there are times when I do wonder what it would be like to be involved romantically.

For the benefit of my friends who might have a violent reaction with my last statement – a less than a week fling does not measure up to my definition of romantic involvement.

Yes, once in a while I allow myself to get drowned in reading mushy love stories and highlight lines like “You’re more important than anyone else. And you’ve given me you” (Bella Swan, Eclipse, chapter 18, page 413) and "I don’t know how to be close to you. I don’t know if I can"(Edward Cullen, Twilight, chapter 13, page 278).

Oftentimes I'd get starry-eyed and teary-eyed watching movies of lovers falling in and out of love. Taking note of lines like: “I guarantee that we will have tough times and that at one point one or both of us would want to get out. And I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life”(Maggie Carpenter, played by Julia Roberts, Runaway Bride).

And yes, I am waiting. And I do dream of the status: in a relationship and engaged.

But when you have so much going on in your life or simply put it you have a life, waiting doesn’t have to be in vain.

Whenever I’m out with my different circle of friends: my college tropa, my loop, my soul sisters/travel buddies and my F4 buddies - no other status exist but: (girls) just wanna have fun!

(college tropa: Jet, Bhake, Lala and Donna)

(my loop: Con-con, Sophie, Kats and Tere)

(soul sisters/ travel buddies: Marie, Charm, Marion, Pia, Annie, Tina and Teri with Dale)

(F4 buddies: Sophie, Gracie and Lo)

I get to do things with each group every once in a while. I dine with my loop every other month & with my F4 buddies during birthdays, watch movies & play badminton with my college tropa, sleepover & go out of town with my soul sisters.

Since most of my girl friends are singles like me, and all of us are still in our “teens” (as in “twenteen-four” to “thirteen-seven”) together we assure each other that the right man will come along, at the right time.

Every time my travel buddies would go out of town and another girlfriend would encourage us to meet boys, the idea almost always stir giggles amongst us.

One by one, we would create our own scenario of how a guy will approach us and ask for our names or numbers.

Everybody will have their take of how the scene should be played out. Each one trying to outdo the others' with their own dream sequence and once the magic moment is perfected the hilarity is heightened as we inject more comical scenarios and more wacky lines and we’ll all end up teary-eyed as we laugh our assess off.

On the serious side my soul sisters and also have what we call the singles session where a Christian friend of ours would counsel us about life, love, family and career. Sessions like this makes us see things differently.

Another reason why I never felt panicky at this point is because I have always believed that God is preparing an endearing love story for me. A sweet ending of my single blessedness and a happy, fairytale like beginning of my life with my destiny.

And yes I have once prayed and asked for my “the one” and always praying for the special someone of my fellow single friends.

If in case my “the one” will never come along, I pray that the special someone of my single friends will not come as well so we can all grow old and wrinkly together =)

So, dear single friends, if you don’t wish to grow old with me, you have to pray doubly hard for my “the one” or else…………….

FALLING IN LOVE IN SAGADA (Day 2 )

Posted from my FB account August 14, 2010

For a second when I opened my eyes after a dreamless sleep, I wondered if day 2 in Sagada will live up to our expectations.

After a fun filled adventure that brought us to an all time high in the excitement-meter on our first day, what other activities can SAGADA and our guides offer us?

Before the break of dawn everybody was up in anticipation for the sunrise watching at the Kiltepan viewpoint.

At 5:00AM we were already out in the quiet street of SAGADA waiting for our other angel, Kuya Emman – our angel behind the wheels, to bring us where our eyes can feast at the majestic sun as it awakens the world to its grandeur.

With renewed excitement we headed to Kiltepan with Gareth and a grin plastered in everyone's faces.

At first I was not sure if it was just me but once in Kiltepan I had this funny feeling of wanting to be in love.

Was it the "twilight " backdrop?

The multitude of pine trees seem to have transported us to Forks, Washington.

Suddenly, we were all Bellas calling our Edward and in Radney's case an Edward hunting for his Bella.

There's something about the woods that I can't seem to put a finger to.

Must be the sweet scent of the morning, the feel of the fog all around us, the presence of strangers and the company of dear friends whose faces are all painted with a smile I've never seen before. It was euphoric and it was contagious.

This, I believe, was where my friends and I fell in love with Sagada.

Unbelievably overjoyed, Haring Araw's failure to show up and amaze his audience with his first light, did not dampen our spirits.

Our effort to wake up early after yesterday's strenuous activity was not put to waste as we took advantage of the Edward-Bella-saga landscape and continue on with our series of photo-ops.

In high spirit my friends and I left Kiltepan with the throngs of tourists who had their own share of photo-op with the hope that perhaps tomorrow we will witness the heavenly show before we all head back to our world so unlike this.

to be continued...........

FALLING IN LOVE IN SAGADA (Day 1)

posted from my FB account May 5, 2010 

They say love comes when you least expect it.
Cliche! That's what it was for me before I came to explore Sagada.Though one of my all time favorite tagalog movies was shot in Sagada I have never pictured this place as romantic.

Scenic for its lush green rice terraces, panoramic in its abundance of pine trees and picturesque for its mountainous surroundings, that’s how I imagined this paradise.

As the itinerary prepared for us by Ms. Jen of Explore Island Philippines spelled of big ADVENTURE, I have never expected to fall in love with Sagada, atleast not in the same way I fell in love with the romantic Vigan and Laoag.

Six hours of spelunking on our first day, with hardly a clue as to what to expect, my friends – in alphabetical order, Abi, Aiza, Annie, Baby, Charm, Ellen, Marie, Pia, Radney and I braved the Lumiang or burial cave and Sumaguing cave.

Excitement was all over our faces as we started our hike downhill to the entrance of the Lumiang cave.

Each step heightened our sense of thrill and uncertainty all at the same time. Thrill as this will be our first taste of spelunking, with the exception of Annie and uncertainty because we honestly didn’t know if we made the right judgment in joining this quest.

After a short account of how their ancestor buried their dead and a safety briefing, Gareth, the lead of guide - with his occasional jokes managed to calm down our chaotic emotion.

One by one the guides who will not only escort us inside the cave but will also be our rope and our HOPE, our ladder and our BROTHER and the LIGHT that will lead us out of the cave safe and in one piece was introduced to us.

Drew, Clyde, Clement, Jeff, John, William and Sylvester of SAGGAS (Sagada Genuine Guides Association) were our guide-and-angels whose extended helping hands, shoulders and legs became an extension of every rock that provides extra step where there is one missing.

As the trudge to the unknown began every gaps, cracks and hole became visible and every corner that comes in contact with the light emitted by the lanterns revealed of art in its natural form.

My friends along with at least a hundred other adventurers bare witness to the magnificence hidden in the cave.

I will try but I don’t think I’ll ever give justice describing how beautiful it was down there. Words will never be enough in this attempt to relive what we experienced and what we survived.

As we start slithering our way into small openings we never thought we would fit in and as we rappel down a 12-feet gap where only one people can squeeze in, our respect for our guides began mounting the same way our admiration for the beauty of the cave builds up.

But it was not all small cracks and hole down there. I was amazed every time we’d end up in vast ballroom like area after coming out of a tiny gap in the boulder of rock.

The temperature was cold in the dry and damp areas but an hour or two later it was icy and freezing yet bearable as we progress deeper into the cave. Another hour later we came into contact with the ice cold water as we near the Sumaguing cave.

The adventure itself fired us up and gave us energy we wouldn’t imagine we’d still have in the absence of a decent meal but the bitter cold water awakened our senses all the more. It was like a brain freeze except that it was in our feet.

After a 45-minute rest in one of the cavernous areas Drew announced that we will be gliding our way down the slope using our butts instead of the rope. 

By this time we completely entrusted our lives to them but I can't help but ask why we  wont use the rope when the group before us did?

The answer got us to the bottom of the slope in less than two minutes while the group ahead of us took almost an hour.

This earned us an applaud from our guides and we were awarded the title “best group” to which we are proud of even if we know they’ve awarded this same title to all the groups they’ve guided before.

As we cross the boundary for Sumaguing in the region where the spelunkers from Lumiang merges with the spelunkers from Sumaguing a spectacular site awaits us.

The crystal clear water that runs through the limestone formations in sparkling amber, the golden glow of the lanterns in procession and the parade of colors represented by the hundreds of tourists in that cave was absolutely breathtaking.

Suddenly, all our physical exhaustion was forgotten.

Everybody just went gaga as each group took turns for a photo-op with the formations resembling of miniature rice terraces, giant mushroom and giant chocolate cake, a curtain and so on....

What we experienced next was the toughest challenge my friends and I ever came face to face with: the highlight of the Sumaguing – the secret cave!

At this point of the journey, for once – we were given the choice to proceed or not to proceed.

Being the brave souls that we are and after what we’ve been through for the last four hours, we thought why not! We may never try spelunking ever again, we might as well make the most out of this journey.

By now we already have an idea of what to expect: a chest deep pool of water where we are required to submerge to get to where we should be next.

With the exception of Abi and Baby, we await our turn for the death-defying stunt in silent prayer.

For the second time since I entered these caves, I asked myself the why I ever tried this. I have no idea what my friends are thinking but somehow I have a feeling that they were asking themselves the same question.

This portion of the cave proved to be the most challenging of all for only here did I hear my friends SCREAMING!

First to cross the devious crevice was Aiza who screamed her way to safety non-stop.

Next in line was me. If Aiza with her long legs had trouble crossing the tricky surface, what will become of me? How will my short legs and short arms manage?

My ears did the trick. I listened intently the way I’ve never listened to anyone in my whole life. I could only hear kuya Jeff’s instruction and nothing else. In no time I reached the end of the rope in quiet terror.

As soon as I jumped into the chest deep water I started shaking. Though I thought of waiting for Charm, I couldn’t stand the freezing water so I scampered to higher ground where I witness how she “splak” and almost fell at the bottom where our guide-and-angels say there is a deep hole.

It was a scary site: flat on her stomach, leg spread like a frog kuya Jeff struggled to stop her from sliding all the way down and brought her back to her feet. All these time I was afraid for her but Charm wasn’t. She was even trying to convince our guide to let her swim instead but kuya for her own safety did not allow her.

After Charm, I no longer have the courage to watch Marie, Annie, Pia, Ellen and Radney go through the same stunt and so we waited for them in a corner where we can still hear them screaming.

After the perilous secret cave everything else was chicken for us and so we thought, until we reach the final stage where we are to climb a steep slope of approximately of 120 degrees. But climb we did not as we literally crawled our way up and held on to the surface full of bat poops for our dear lives.

We were literally romancing the bat poops as we pressed our whole body (and soul) so we can all go home.

Who said bat poops are yucky? It is not! Not when you still want to explore and discover the rest of SAGADA.

RUNNIVERSARY

Technically, 10.10.10 marked my 1st anniversary as a marathon buff but ever since I started running every event is like a ranniversary for me.

My love for marathon provided me with a number reason to celebrate regardless of how trivial they may be.

It is in marathon that I learned to respect my body’s limitations and discover how farther I can push myself to establish new personal records and set new goals, acknowledged the strength of my legs and feet, developed high regards for my fellow runners, earned the admiration of my colleagues, lost weight, maintained my current weight, rekindled old friendship, met new friends, introduced friends to other friends, smiled at strangers, started my collection of singlets and bibs, encouraged others to run and this list can go on and on……

It was during the Run for Pasig in October 10, 2009 when I first had a taste of Marathon.

My first ever marathon and I dared signed up for the 10K category!

Back then I have little knowledge about long distance running, no proper training nor a pair of suitable running shoes.

Equipped with nothing but my guts and the desire to run for a cause I braved the stretch of Roxas Boulevard from Luneta to San Juan De Dios Hospital and back to Quirino Grand Stand along with the other runners.

Keeping in mind the line “complete not compete” I heard from the speaker during the marathon clinic provided by Sun Life who also paid for our registration, I was never conscious of the time and so I took the liberty of turning the event into a walk-a-thon.

Two hours and I-don’t-care-anymore-minutes I finally crossed the finish line with pride and a sore pair of legs and feet.

I maybe limping and aching all over but as I crossed the welcoming arch that says finish I was secretly smiling for I was proud for being one of the many who helped in our own little way rehabilitate Pasig River.

As I settled down to rest and devour our packed breakfast I made a decision to make running my sports and I made a vow to myself: I will never again run the 10K category unless I am ready. I will start and train in the 5K division and will not leave unless I meet my 30-minute only goal.

And with the motivation to improve my personal record I have joined in 10 running events from November 2009 to 2010:



Del Monte Fit N Right Fun Run 2009 (Nov 22, 2009) – 42mins & 15secs
Nature Valley Run 2010 (May 30, 2010) – 39mins & 50secs
Rexona Run For Men (Aug 1, 2010) – 36mins & 35secs
Finex Fun Run – (Sep 12, 2010) – 37mins
Miles for Smile (Aug 22, 2010) – 34mins & 16secs
Run for Pasig (Oct 10, 2010) – 42mins
STEP OUT! Avon Walk & Run 2010 (Oct 3, 2010) – 32mins & 37secs
The Pink Run (Oct 17, 2010) – 33mins & 13secs
Mc Donalds Fun Run (Nov 28, 2010) – 32mins & 18secs
Unilab Run United (Nov 21, 2010) – 31mins & 9secs

I wanted my last run for 2010 to be the indication for me to give the 10K another try and I got my wish.

Though the Unilab Run United result was still short of 1 minute of meeting my goal it was undeniably close to my target.

To celebrate this achievement I surrendered to the call of level up and registered in the Bull Run, Takbo Para Sa Ekonomiya 2010.



The month of December being unbelievably busy, I hardly had time to practice and prepare for the event and so apart from my excitement, my apprehension was fast growing.

I was starting to see this scene repeatedly playing in my head, a replay of my first ten-kilometer run.

Jokingly, I shared with friends my fear of being picked-up by the paramedic and being fetched by the marshals because the time was already up and they need to clear the road of runners for the normal traffic to resume.

Terrified of being the butt of jokes of my running buddies, I ran my ass off during the holiday season.

Thanks to Aris, Patrick, Ian and Mariz – my supportive brother, nephews and niece. I was able to squeeze in at least an hour of practice during the Christmas vacation even after the sun had already set and even if no less than 10 people remained in the vast and tranquil garden for the departed.

The memorial garden or Hardin as we call it was a perfect place for me to practice and develop my speed because of the uphill and downhill landscapes.

In the one year and four months that I have been running I have noticed a great improvement in my endurance so it was time for me to work on my speed.

The combination of both endurance and speed would definitely help me in achieving my new goals: 45 minutes for the 10K category, 16K category by August this year, 21K or half marathon by 2012 and full marathon or 42K before I turn 40.

My practices did pay off as evident in my recent runs:

Bull Run, Takbo Para Sa Ekonomiya (January 4, 2011) - 1hour & 9minutes
Condura Skyway Marathon (February 6, 2011) - 1hour & 7minutes

Finishing these runs earlier than expected was yet another reason for me to celebrate.

The holiday season practices have become a regular bonding for me and my family every time I come home to Bulacan.

I hope to develop in my nephews and nieces the love for running which I believe is not far from happening as I see them race each other as we leave for fear of being left behind at the memorial garden.

As I’ve said, the list of reasons to celebrate, of the joys and benefits I get out of running is an ongoing thing and to share more:

Regular running has improved my metabolism a great deal.

I am rice person, I can consume 3 cups of rice in one meal and I get to enjoy that without fear of getting back to my old weight.

My singlet size when I first run in 2010 was LARGE, I know have a variety of sizes in my growing collection of singlet and extra small is among them.

I get to see celebrities every run including coach Rio, Donna Cruz, Garry Estrada Bernadette Allison, Donita Rose, Christine Jacobs, Liezel Sumilang, Iza Calzado, Jackilou Blanco, PBA players and a couple of sportscasters.


And most of all running makes me feel good about myself, I get a confidence boost that I don’t get from badminton and swimming and I get to help causes while doing something I truly love at the same time.