Eulogy, Confession, Farewell and Awakening!

From my funnygirl blog account from an old social network, published February 15, 2008.


Consider this a eulogy, a confession, a farewell and an awakening.

Ever since I've heard of how death cheated you, I have been deeply affected.

Back in college our encounters were limited to occasional chit-chat as you join our tropa in a corner in the campus we have claimed as our territory.

A couple of times you've played the guitar for us as you fearlessly hummed a line or two from a tagalog song by Jaime Rivera while all others preferred banging their heads to Rivermaya's Kisapmata and E-heads' Toyang.

These memories are just fragments or our young lives, not significant enough for us to keep in touch and not too trivial for me to not feel anything when I found out about your death.

The extent of your demise' effect on me had given me sleepless nights and have compelled me to write away my grief.

I was saddened not only because you were my crush back in college but also because of the way you have died, so young, so tragic.

It made me realize how easily our lives can be taken away from us, from our loved ones and our dear friends.

Were you able to atleast kiss or hug your children that morning or have you somehow managed to say goodbye to your wife, your mother, your siblings?

Was there any premonition of the terrible thing to come?

Have you somehow felt that your time is up? 

What were you thinking and what did you feel as you faced death? Was there even a chance for you to think or feel?

The other night as I was about to sleep I have a vivid picture of you lying still. From the door where I was standing, I was looking through your casket from your head. For a while I was scared but then I realized that it was your way of saying goodbye to an old acquaintance.

And this on the other hand is my way if saying goodbye to you.

I would forever remember you in your maroon Giordano shirt, pair of Vans and a pair of brown corduroy pants strumming the guitar with your soft and long fingers which you also use to sweep away the hair off your kind face.

Goodbye, RJ. May you find peace in our Creator and may your death be given justice.